After a troubled career in business, I found my true calling as a servant of the people. I became the 43rd President of the US of A with the strong support of my family and friends. I have dedicated my two terms in office to the promotion throughout the world, of peace, prosperity, and big oil. As the most talked about public figure in living memory, the world hangs on my every word. My quotes and speeches continue to bring inexplicable joy to the masses, particularly on late night talk shows and youtube. I remain fit and agile, demonstrating at a recent press conference, my unique ability to dodge projectiles, aquired during my frequent hunting trips with Vice President Dick Cheney.
Country music, chasing Osama, oil and all things Texan, Mexican food, War on Terror
Achievements
Set New Approval Rating Record
Left Office with the lowest approval rating of any US President since polling began.
Renowned Orator
'I say that if you say you are going to do something, and you don't do it, that's trustworthiness.'
'I just want you to know that, when we talk about war, we're really talking about peace.'
'More and more of our imports come from overseas.'
'It's clearly a budget. It's got a lof of numbers in it.'
Mission Accomplished
Suprised the world (and my chain of command in Iraq) by announcing 'Mission Accomplished' three years early.
Promoted Quality, not Quantity, within the Press
Held less press conferences than any other President since the introduction of television.
Created a United Europe
Single handedly ended centuries of internal European bickering by introducing myself as the common enemy.
Inspired the Masses
Set new record for the most people worldwide to simultaneously take to the streets, (15 million), shattering previous record for protests against any single person in world history.