After a troubled career in business, I found my true calling as a servant of the people. I became the 43rd President of the US of A with the strong support of my family and friends. I have dedicated my two terms in office to the promotion throughout the world, of peace, prosperity, and big oil. As the most talked about public figure in living memory, the world hangs on my every word. My quotes and speeches continue to bring inexplicable joy to the masses, particularly on late night talk shows and youtube. I remain fit and agile, demonstrating at a recent press conference, my unique ability to dodge projectiles, aquired during my frequent hunting trips with Vice President Dick Cheney.
Achievements
Head Cheerleader
George Dubya Bush
Phillips Academy High School, Massachusetts
Inspired the Masses
Set new record for the most people worldwide to simultaneously take to the streets, (15 million), shattering previous record for protests against any single person in world history.
Created a United Europe
Single handedly ended centuries of internal European bickering by introducing myself as the common enemy.
Promoted Quality, not Quantity, within the Press
George Dubya Bush
Held less press conferences than any other President since the introduction of television.
Mission Accomplished
George Dubya Bush
Suprised the world (and my chain of command in Iraq) by announcing 'Mission Accomplished' three years early.
Renowned Orator
George Dubya Bush
'I say that if you say you are going to do something, and you don't do it, that's trustworthiness.'
'I just want you to know that, when we talk about war, we're really talking about peace.'
'More and more of our imports come from overseas.'
'It's clearly a budget. It's got a lof of numbers in it.'
Set New Approval Rating Record
Left Office with the lowest approval rating of any US President since polling began.
Employment History
Jan 01 — Jan 09President of the USA
Washington, DC US
United States Government
George Dubya Bush
Aquired Presidential appointment even after losing popular vote by over 500,000 votes
Travelled the world promoting freedom, world peace, the war on terror and free-trade
Organized a Coalition of the Willing against Iraq, that included the military might of Tonga, Kazakhstan, Moldova and Iceland
Avoided scandal by demonstrating the responsible use of cigars within the Oval Office
Proved that a criminal record is no barrier to becoming President
Led unprovoked attacks on Afghanistan and Iraq without allowing myself to be bullied by the United Nations or the global community
Never gave up on my promise to capture my pops old buddy, Osama Bin Laden
Jan 95 — Dec 00Governor of Texas
Dallas, TX US
United States Government
George Dubya Bush
First Texan Governor to complete two full terms
Enjoyed the highest approval rating for any Texan Governor
Achievements:
Made Texas the most polluted state in the USA and promoted Houston to the most polluted city in the USA
Used the death penalty more times than any other Governor in recent history
Mar 89 — Dec 94Managing General Partner
Texas, TX US
Texas Rangers
George Dubya Bush
Threatened to put the 'Range' back into the Rangers by moving the club out of Texas
Raised $200 million of taxpayers money to upgrade the privately-owned stadium and club facilities
Demonstrated my love of baseball by selling the club for three times what my partners and I originally paid for it
Skills
Category
Name
Proficiency
Yrs Experience
Last Used
Value
Defence/Emergency
Invading countries
Expert
4+ yrs.
<1 yr.
Promoting Freedom
Expert
4+ yrs.
use currently
Health, Fitness & Medical
Hunting
Expert
4+ yrs.
use currently
Language
Public Speaking
Expert
4+ yrs.
use currently
Education
Harvard Business School
Boston, MA US
Masters in Business Administration
Graduated: June 1975
Grade: I rate this school 10/10
Yale University
New Haven, NE US
Bachelor of Arts
Graduated: May 1968
Grade: Maintained a gentlemanly 'C' average
Publications
Book
George W. Bush, 2003, We will prevail, Continuum, USA
Immigration / Work Status
United States — Citizen
Iraq — Grand Poobah
George Dubya Bush
Hobbies / Interests
My dog Barney
George Dubya Bush
Country music, chasing Osama, oil and all things Texan, Mexican food, War on Terror
References
George Dubya Bush
iDlogik eReference
This reference was obtained from the referee via a candidate nominated email sent from iDlogik. This process confirms the authenticity of origin of the reference by confirming the email address nominated below.
Date of Reference:
19 JAN 2009
Relationship:
Questions and Answers
Q1. What is your title and how long did you work or have you worked with the candidate?
A. Ex-Prime Minister of Australia. I have worked closely with George since he was elected President of the United States of America in 2001.
Q2. What position did the candidate hold?
A. Leader of the free world from 2001 - 2009.
Q3. What were the key duties and responsibilities of this position?
A. Finding Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq, bringing Osama Bin Laden to justice, capturing Saddam Hussein, public speaking, fighting the war on terror and promoting free speech and democracy to the world.
Q4. How effective was the individual in completing the above tasks?
A. Somewhat successful. He would certainly have found Weapons of Mass Destruction if there had been any. He would have also caught Osama if the guy didn't keep running away. He did get Saddam however... and his public speaking has become the talk of the town.
Q5. In your opinion, what were the individual's strengths and weaknesses?
A. Strengths are his way with words, particularly when put on the spot and during press conferences. He's a strategic-thinker, dodging shoes and tough questions with consummate ease. His weakness... his inability to maintain any semblance of popularity throughout the world.
Q6. How well did the candidate interact with the management and fellow colleagues?
A. Very well. I always enjoyed dining at the White House, sharing a hot dog at a baseball game, or simply lazing around on summer afternoons discussing world affairs. He is a generous human being who has a unique ability to make everyone laugh with a single word or action.
Q7. Is the individual a team player?
A. Absolutely! Who else but George Bush could have taken the contestant list from the 2001 Eurovision song contest, stripped out 'Old Europe', popped in such military superpowers as Tonga, then brought it all together under the inspired title: 'The Coalition of the Willling'?
Q8. How would you describe his/her communication skills both oral and written?
A. He has the ability to mesmerise a crowd, bringing joy and laughter to his audience, even during the most dire circumstances. Sections of his speeches have already slipped into folklore.
Q9. How would you describe the candidates professionalism?
A. Excellent. He never starts a job that he cannot finish... even if it requires the guts to unilaterally declare so.
Q10. How would you assess the individual's technical skills?
A. He has a unique ability to read books upside down, mispronounce words and simplify even the most complex world issues... and his golf swing is the envy of all.
Q11. How would you describe the candidates leadership, managerial or supervisory skills?
A. As a leader, George Bush stands alone...
Q12. How did the candidate handle a crisis, pressure or stress?
A. He has a renowned ability to remain calm. He coped successfully with 9/11, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the war on terror, the Hurricane Katrina disaster, and more recently the world's worst financial crisis since the 1930s, simply by popping out for a round of golf or a spot of fishing.
Q13. Can you please describe the candidate's overall performance?
A. Well, despite what the ratings, (and results) say, I believe he has done a marvelous job.
Q14. Would you re-hire this individual in a similar position? Why or why not?
A. Despite leaving the White House with America fighting two wars and their economy in shambles, as well as having the lowest approval rating of any outgoing US President, I am happy to say as an ally and friend, that I would re-hire George Bush as President if it was up to me.
Q15. Do you have any additional comments that you would like to make?
A. I am grateful for the courtesy, friendship and warm lap that George has extended to me and wish him the best of luck in his new future in Texas.
